Adventures in Satire, Episode 1: Fat People Are Destroying the World
Jun 11th, 2008 by Micah Tillman | 9 Comments |
I have decided that there are some things in the world which need to be satirized. WEeds are one, but they have their own Awards. For the rest, there’s “Adventures in Satire.” Episode 1 is devoted to the concept of the “carbon footprint”:
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Episode 1
Remember back when being fat was something that reflected on your personal choices (so long as you didn’t have a “glandular condition”), but was essentially an innocent problem? Remember back when people were trying to get anti-obesity-discrimination legislation passed, because it was wrong to look down on fat people?
Hasn’t all that changed, with the invention of the “carbon footprint”?
Fat people usually eat more than skinny people, which means they have a bigger carbon footprint. (They have to count the carbon footprints of all the animals and plants — and the production, preparation, and transportation of said animals and plants — that they eat.) Right?
And since carbon is destroying the world, and fat people are responsible for more carbon than skinny people, they’re destroying the world more than skinny people. Right?
No longer are obese people wantonly destroying their own bodies/health. They’re destroying the earth. Kind of like when homosexuals were destroying America.
And no longer are skinny people hot. They’re also better than you.
Oh. Wait. They were better than you before, too. My bad.
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Stay tuned for more satirizations of dangerous, stupid, and dangerously stupid ideas in the future!
It is not carbon that is destroying the planet, it is CO2.
I figured the shortening was okay, since it’s called a “carbon footprint” not a “carbon dioxide footprint.”
I’m sorry, but in the context your post says that since fat people consist of more carbon, they are more to blame (however, if they breathe less, they would, in theory, be reducing the CO2 levels in the atmosphere -albeit minuscule).
Where did I say that fat people consist of more carbon?
“Fat people usually eat more than skinny people, which means they have a bigger carbon footprint.”
Maybe I am reading too much into this but unless the fat people injested nothing but water, they also took in carbon. And the fat, in part, is made up of that carbon. (Maybe I have just too much of a scientific mind.)
And you read the explanatory parenthesis directly after the sentence you just quoted, yes?
:-)
I was putting it within the context of the single individual.
If you say so.
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