On What a Wedding Is, pt. 1
May 29th, 2009 by Micah Tillman | Start the Discussion |
[ History | Weddings 1 | Weddings 2 | Alone? | Name Calling ]
It would seem that I’m suddenly on an “educate people about marriage” kick. . . .
The following is a short essay I wrote to explain why our (I speak of The Wife and I) wedding was a little different than normal. It was on the back cover of our wedding program. I had fun writing it. Hope you have fun reading it.
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If This Seems Different . . . (Some Thoughts on Our Wedding)
by Micah Tillman
(Written shortly before his wedding on 7/7/07)
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Our word “wed” comes from the Old English weddian, by which our ancestors would have meant what we mean by “pledge.” Thus a “wedding” would be a two-way pledging.
The first occurrence of the idea of marriage in Scripture, however, involves the term, “become one flesh” (Gen. 2.24; cf. 1 Cor. 6.15-17). The Hebrew word for “flesh” (basar) is identical to and derived from that for, “to bear good news.” Thus, “the two shall become one bringer of good news.” This is wedded living.
To bear good news we must be sent from a news source to a news receiver. As Images of God (Gen. 1.26-27) we serve as the Representation of the Creator and yet have the responsibility to speak for ourselves. We both bear God to Creation and ourselves to each other.
The “good news” that we wait to hear today is our mutual pledge. With it we begin the re-performance of the First Re-Unification that made Creation finally complete and good (Gen. 2.18, 20-23). The good news we then bring to Creation and each other is the re-presenting of God through our unified living activity.
There is no outside efficacy that achieves the wedding: there can be neither invocation of State nor Denomination. Images we were made, pledge-givers we can choose to be. The “power” is built into what we are as human creations-of-God, not “vested” in an “authorized official” or guaranteed by a “signed witness.”
That a wedding can become a show or spectacle is a logical consequence of what it is by nature: an action, and thus a performance. But the pledging and unifying is performed before the other pledger and the One we Image.
That an officiant guides us through the ceremony reminds us of our place in the Tradition we now join. That others witness the pledge reminds us of the consequence of being Images of God to the World. That they together, our community, provide instruction, company, and consent, gives us strength and wisdom.
But the wedding is achieved in word, in being, and in activity, not in appearing. When we read the First Wedding in Genesis 2 we find no observers; and so we must live ours whether anyone witnesses or not.
Therefore, we do not mask today who we are, nor where we are as we pledge. Good news needs neither fanfare nor sheen. It is good news, pure and simple.
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[ History | Weddings 1 | Weddings 2 | Alone? | Name Calling ]
