Micah Tillman

So, your side is outraged, while the other side is filled with hate.  But they think exactly the opposite.  They’re the ones who are outraged, and you’re the ones who are filled with hate.

The problem isn’t exactly that people can’t empathize with each other.  In fact, empathy — understood in a certain way — is the problem.

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When Person A tries to understand Person B’s motivations for acting in a certain way, Person A normally begins by asking what motivations would lead her/him (Person A) to do what Person B is doing.  Person A tries to put her-/himself in Person B’s shoes.

So, people are protesting Obamacare.  “What would lead them to do that?” Bob — who thinks Obamacare is a good thing — asks.  “Well, what would lead me to protest Obamacare?” Bob asks.  “Given that Obamacare is a good thing, the only reason I’d protest it is that I don’t like good things.  I’d only protest it if I wanted bad things,” Bob thinks.

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Therefore, Bob has figured out what it feels like to be an anti-Obamacare protestor.  It feels awful/terrible.  It feels like wanting bad instead of good.  It feels like being evil.

It’s not that Bob hasn’t “empathized” with his opponents.  He’s “empathizing”!  He “knows” how it feels to be them, because he “knows” how he would feel were he doing what they are doing.

The problem is that that’s not necessarily how they actually feel.  He’s understood what his motivations would have to be, if he were to do what they do, but not necessarily what their motivations actually are.

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And the same deceptive “empathy” happens in every “debate.”

“The other side promotes capitalism.  What would motivate them to promote capitalism?  Well, what would motivate me to promote capitalism?  I’d have to want everyone to be selfish.  Ick!  It feels terrible to be a pro-capitalist.  Wow, people who promote capitalism are messed up!”

“The other side promotes communalism.  What would motivate them to promote communalism?  Well, what would motivate me to promote communalism?  I’d have to hate independence, self-sufficiency.  Ick!  It feels terrible to be a pro-communalist.  Wow, people who promote communalism are messed up!”